One week into Whole 30 and I’m surviving.

Just barely.

Seriously, it was an emotionally taxing weekend. The Husband and I are looking at houses, and everyone knows what the home-buying market in the Los Angeles area is like right now. Super competitive and nearly impossible for most middle class dwellers. I don’t know what makes me think we’re any different.

We spent much of the weekend looking at houses, and after falling in love with one adorable home, we spent the rest of the weekend figuring out how to make it work. We were both pretty grumpy. The Husband did some insane amount of pull-ups at his CrossFit gym on Friday and has been in pain ever since. I’ve been stressed out about making my home-ownership dreams come true. We reached a point yesterday afternoon where I turned to him and asked “How about we just call this Whole 30 thing off right now and go get drunk?”

We considered it.

To top it all off, we were invited to our friends’ house for a get-together Sunday afternoon. We were both very worried about eating something off-plan. We even went so far as to bring our own veggie tray and guacamole. Thankfully, our amazing friends were not only aware of our Whole 30 ambitions, but they were sensitive and thoughtful enough to have options we could eat, too. And we were able to relax! And actually enjoy ourselves! For a solid three hours, I didn’t think about how sad I was that I couldn’t open a bottle of wine and/or afford the house of our dreams.

Where I went right this weekend:

I know I’m patting myself on the back here, but I did just about everything right this weekend. I didn’t cheat my Whole 30 guidelines at all, and because of our diet plan we couldn’t go out to a restaurant. We probably saved a ton by eating in all weekend long. Our meals were all super easy and affordable, to boot. More on that, later.

Where I went wrong:

I have to say that planning to do the Whole 30 at a time when my stress levels were already so high was probably not the wisest choice. But it was our choice nonetheless, and we’re stickin’ to it.

Goals for this week:

There was a point yesterday when we were willing to say we did the Whole 6.5 diet. The idea of saying “Good enough,” and going out for pizza and bourbon was tough to resist. There was even a point at our friends’ house when I found my hand – out of force of habit – reach straight for the nacho cheese Doritos. I diverted it to the veggie tray just in time. But, here I am, at Day 7. I made it a week. Just three more to go.

I told myself yesterday that I would eat whole foods like this for the rest of my life, if it meant I could have booze whenever I wanted. With just about every dinner I ate this weekend, I’d find myself thinking about what wine would pair best with it. This led me to two conclusions: A) I might want to re-evaluate my attachment to liquor, and 2) I could eat like this for the rest of my life if it meant I could enjoy booze. That means my mind has started to think of this Whole 30 experiment less as a diet, and more of a lifestyle change. Which is really the point, right?

Breakthroughs, guys. So many breakthroughs.

At risk of this sounding like an AA treatment, my goal for this week is to take things each day at a time. I recognize that I’m carrying a lot of stress in my life right now, which makes the threat of breaking down more and more likely. I might lose my mind f I try to think about meal planning for the next seven days, or how I’m going to get to Day 14 without a Manhattan on the rocks. So today, I’m thinking about tonight. Tonight, I’ll think about tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll think about the next day. I’m still food-prepping. I’ve got my pre-cut veggies and fruits all set to go in my fridge. I’ve still got the upper hand there. If only I could have as much control over the rest of my life as I do with my nutrition right now …

Note: This is a re-post from the Tumblr version of this blog. It originally ran on April 4, 2016.