I’m wearing a pair of jeans today that 27 days ago wouldn’t fit over my ass, let alone zip up.

They aren’t one, but two sizes smaller than the size of my Mercy Jeans that I acquired just prior to starting Whole30.

Look, I know. I’ve bitched a lot. I’ve lost my mind a few times. I’ve complained more than I care to admit. And in four days from now, at 11:59 p.m., I’m gonna be poppin’ some bottles to celebrate being done with this.

But today, I’m wearing my skinny jeans. And they’re not uncomfortable. So was this past month worthwhile?

Ask me again on Wednesday.

In the meantime, I’ve got another yummy Whole30 dinner for you, along with another of my trademark valuable lessons learned.

I made meatballs again. And, in keeping with this week’s apparent theme, they didn’t come out as good as they did the first time. At least I was able to figure out why they didn’t.

Kids, when you make meatballs, you need to use ground meat with a little fat. I’m not saying the 80/20 bargain bin bullshit. But don’t use the 99% Fat Free I’m So Much Better Than You Because I’m Extra Lean Ground Turkey. If you do, they’re going to come out dry, like mine did. If you still insist on being a fat free ground meat snob, make sure you have some all natural nothing added snobby applesauce on hand to go with it, because that’s what saved my meatballs from joining my mayo in failure hell.

The other redeeming feature in this meal was my Whole30 compliant mashed potatoes – recipe invented by yours truly. I tackled the potatoes first, because a) they are easier to keep warm, and 2) making the meatballs is an action-packed process that requires a lot of attention. Just like me.

First thing you want to do is get a pot of water on the stove and get it to boiling. I hate forgetting to do this ahead of time – then I’m halfway through with cooking and have to stop and wait for water to boil.

Peel your potatoes and cut them into halves or quarters, depending on size. They’ll cook more evenly and quickly this way. Plop them into the boiling water, and set your timer for 10 minutes. They might take longer. When you can stick a fork in ‘em easily, they’re done. Don’t cook them to the point that your fork breaks them apart. Then your mashed potatoes turn into mush potatoes, and nobody likes that.

While the potatoes are boiling, put all the meatball ingredients into a bowl. One pound of ground meat, one beaten egg, onion, S&P, oregano, and I like to use a little almond flour (about ¼ cup) to give them some oomph. Using your hands, mush everything up together. Here, it’s OK to mush. You can use those plastic cafeteria gloves if this step grosses you out. But just remember this makes you a weenie and everyone will laugh at you.

When the potatoes are ready, drain the water and get out your potato masher. Time to work out some of that stress. You’re going to add in, one at a time, some ghee or clarified butter, canned coconut milk, and chicken broth. Depending on how many potatoes you use, these amounts will differ. I used two giant potatoes, about 2 tablespoons of ghee, about ¼ cup of coconut milk, and 1/3 cup of broth. First add your ghee and let it melt while you mash it in with the potatoes. Then add the coconut milk, and mash again. Finally, add the broth a couple tablespoons at a time and mash mash mash away until it reaches the right consistency. You’ll know when it’s there.

I got fancy and added some chopped chives to mine.

Back to your meatballs. Heat some oil in a NONSTICK pan – that’s super important – and roll your mushy meat concoction into golf ball sized balls. And here, don’t be like me. Actually roll them. I just kinda picked up meat and shaped it, thus my meatballs look more like meatcubes. Put them in the pan, and rotate every minute or so to brown on each side. Have a baking sheet ready and lined with parchment paper. When the meatballs are browned, line them up on your baking sheet and finish them in the oven for about 6-7 minutes.

Et, voilà. Meatballs and mashed potatoes. Super good yummy comfort food to get you through your last week of Whole30.

 

Note: This is a re-post from the Tumblr version of this blog. It originally ran on April 22, 2016.