The greatest thing ever happened to me at lunch today. It was glorious. Unquestionably, a crowning moment for what’s been arguably a rough week. (And it’s only Tuesday….)

First I have to explain that, like so many others, my relationship with food and money is highly driven by emotion. To celebrate good news or a happy occasion, I like to go out and drop a good chunk of money on a delicious meal. On the other hand, when I feel like shit, I tend to decide that I’m not worthy of the price of a healthy meal, so I go out and get whatever cheap ass garbage I can shame-eat in my car over a 30-minute lunch.

Like today.

I made a conscious decision that I deserved a lunch that cost no more than $5, since I didn’t leave myself enough time to pack a healthy lunch at home this morning. So for the first time in a year, at least, I drove through Del Taco. For $4 on the button, I got two chicken soft tacos and nachos. The chicken soft tacos at least had some protein (just as much fat, too, unfortunately). The nachos were because nachos.

I could have spent $7 and gone to Subway for a sandwich with much fewer calories and half the fat. I could have gone to the market and put together a salad at the salad bar for about the same price. But around 11:45 am today I was too busy hating myself for every imaginable reason to think logically about the situation.

So there I was, sitting in my car. Just me and my Del Taco. I was just about to put the last perfect chip, smothered with a giant glob of heavenly (although now somewhat tepid) artificial cheese in my mouth. And then, it happened.

All in one second’s time, gust of wind blew through my lowered car window, sending my unruly hair into further frenzy and planting a section of it firmly in the nacho cheese. This, as it my hand is in the process of delivering the crunchy cheesey hairy vessel into my waiting open mouth.

But wait – it gets better.

The momentum of the situation was unstoppable. My brain processed and accepted that I was about to spend the rest of the day with sticky nacho cheese hair, just as I looked up and made direct eye contact with a jogger running along the sidewalk toward my car.

A really pretty, perfectly fit jogger.

Crunch.

The moral of the story, kids, is that just when you think you’re at your lowest and things couldn’t get any worse, go eat a salad.